This is late, I know. You’ve probably heard of this before, but I haven’t till recently so be kind.

boohoo, can't afford it

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And wipe that drool off your chin.

one of them will steal your underpants off you.

EA Games Associate Producer Lyndsay Pearson, on the latest features of the upcoming Sims 3:

“You can be a kleptomaniac, you can be evil, and actually, evil Sims will steal candy from babies,” she said with a laugh. “It will be a little toddler sitting there and then you get this special social to go steal candy from them; then they walk up to them and just like take it.”

Now there’s a game with me in mind. I like how she said it with a laugh.

Sims 3 in February 2009, and God knows when for the Mac version.

Can’t wait.

john lennon, 1940 - 1980

The world’s a lot less colorful without you.

What do you get when you cross a Northerner with a Filipina?

Trouble, apparently, if the resulting furor over the Harry and Paul sketch is to be believed.

Again our people are up in arms over a slight.  It’s not the first time that we’ve gone crazy over some misrepresentation or unflattering portrayal.  Biscuits, dictionary definitions and throwaway punch lines from heavily Botoxed has-beens — any of these can send us into a national tizzy.

It’s not that we shouldn’t be indignant when faced with outright insults; we have all the right in the world to demand a motherfucking apology when some other country thinks they can just kick us down and laugh.  The thing, though, is that almost anything relatively not positive can get our collective panties in a tight bunch.  Anything.

I’ve seen the sketch.  It’s not funny (or maybe I don’t know enough about Brits to understand the joke), but I say in all honesty that I do not feel insulted.  That’s just my personal opinion.

A gyrating Pinay — tell me I haven’t seen that in some Pinoy comedy before.  An ugly Filipina girl doing her best to get violated by some hot guy?  Oh, is that not so Zorayda or Pokwang?

We’re only angry because it’s some other nationality on the other side of the sketch.

I’m all for women’s rights, and yes, any form of sexual abuse or harassment is not funny.  It’s just that we get this shit from our own television screens every single day and no one sounds a beep.

And we’re being a tad hypocritical, don’t you think?

We’re just as nasty when it comes to portraying foreigners.  I’m pretty sure a rather unflattering and tacky portrayal of the numerous Koreans crawling all over our 7000+ islands is in the offing.  I dare you to deny that our films and television shows have ever presented insulting and degrading portrayals of our nationalities.

If China or Japan sued us over every single insulting portrayal of their kind on Philippine celluloid, we’d drown in demand letters.

And we’re always so … dramatic.  I’ve always said that everything about this country is showbiz.  You want a negotiator?  Get Robin Padilla.  The Abu Sayyaf will talk to you if you get the one Muslim action star in the country to sit across them.  Everything is about melodrama — all that emotional hand-wringing and forehead-scrunching is pretty much second nature to the people of this country.

One congressman or woman decides that this particular issue is going to get his mug on the front pages and there you go.  I thought we had every right to kick NBC’s ass after that Desperate Housewives insult; our medical community in the United States had every right to be angry.  Unfortunately, it turned into a gruesome “they always bully us” refrain that made no sense and muddled the issue completely.

Dignified countries send their ambassadors to sort out the mess.  Bulging veins and tear-stained faces have no place in international negotiations.  We want those motherfuckers to say sorry?  We find a way to bring them to their knees.

I’m no expert, but I’m sure lame protests and burning stuff won’t cut it.

The Harry and Paul sketch is tasteless and not funny.  Let’s just say I’ve seen better and funnier from Fry and Laurie, as well as the eternally beloved Mr. Bean.  That said, I don’t see it as a racial issue.  It’s an unfortunate decision on the show’s part to choose a Filipina domestic helper.

They should’ve chosen someone from a less pikon country.

my crush. yes.

I’m pretty much always in a rush to get home these days.

I’ve always been obsessed with my bed, as everyone who knows me can attest. My bed — as plain and messy as it is — is my sanctuary.

But this isn’t about my bed.

I think I already mentioned a few posts back that I’m currently drawn towards a rather unlikely attachment. I’m not usually the type to watch a soap opera religiously. I hate the constant drama and crazy waterworks. If anything, I ‘d rather watch stupid and inane stuff like MadTV.

Now, though, I’m totally obsessing over a soap opera that no one would ever believe could hook me in. My sisters roll their eyes whenever the clock hits 8PM because they know it’s time for the waterworks again. Not that I cry, though. I can honestly say I haven’t shed a single tear over the show, although I do wring my hands in consternation when the protagonists find themselves in dire circumstances.

One of the most important reasons why I watch this thing, however, is Nicky Wu.

yeah, that guy. in yellow.

Yes, my cousin’s crush from two thousand years ago is finally getting to me. He’s not exactly gorgeous, but … oh well who am I kidding. You can all say what you want but I think the guy is hot and he’s gorgeous and hot and well, yeah. I ran out of adjectives again.

I didn’t like him back then (at the height of his superstardom as 1/3 of the Taiwanese boyband, Little Tigers. I know. Don’t rub it it.) because I was more of a Jimmy Lin fan. Forget I said that.

But now he’s just, well, addicting.

So yeah, my sisters will make fun of me yet again, but who cares.

Screw you, detractors (that includes one of my seven other personalities, who thinks people who brought the “boyband” concept to Asia should be shot).

Anyway, yeah.

How exactly do you translate the words “search room” into Filipino?

By “search room” I mean the room where you conduct body searches.  I am afraid I cannot continue explaining as this would only lead to more confusion and sexual mistranslation.  Suffice it to say that the documents I’m translating have to do with Customs and the people they arrest.

I was sorely tempted to write “silid kapkapan” but logic prevailed and I went with the English words.  Technically I’m supposed to translate from Traditional Chinese to Filipino, but when words (or the translator’s brain) fails it’s pretty much necessary to just go with the English version.  After all, English is this country’s national language, too, right?

It’s a lame excuse, but if the people paying me don’t complain I don’t think I’ll be losing sleep over it.

I have this theory that watching Chinese/Taiwanese/HK telenovelas brings me more translation projects.  I can’t explain it really, but around the time I started watching It Started with a Kiss, I clinched by most lucrative translation job.  Same thing happened when I watched They Kiss Again.  Now I’m watching that tearjerker of a soap, Family, and I got this job.

Coincidence?

I don’t think so.  Luck, maybe, or some sort of cosmic alignment.

Either way it’s fine by me.

The only problem is whether or not I can handle this lifestyle.  I’ve been having episodes of random vertigo-ish dizziness these past few days.  Someone told me it might be irreversible brain damage, but that’s impossible.  My brain is damaged enough as it is; it can’t get any worse than that.

I just hope to survive this very, very busy weekend.

So yes, I’ve been played for a fool again.

Victory has been short-lived.

But I’ll still go through with it, since I am pretty much addicted to money.

Before you start letting those thoughts run wild, let me just say that I’m in a middle of a negotiation gone awry.

The initial rate discussed has been hacked and slashed to something barely acceptable.  Still I’m going through with it, because this is still money we’re talking about.  And even though I won’t be staring at 100,000 bucks any time soon (which would’ve been the going rate if we pushed through with the original agreement), I’m still going through with this new sideline of mine.

I need the dough, obviously, and it would be crazy to say no.

Let’s see where this goes.