Not with Bernadette Sembrano or the eternally-smiling Vicky Morales of the inexplicable television show that claims to fulfill people’s wishes. Meet the Pussycat Dolls? Oh why not? And why don’t we throw in a sari-sari store or a fishball stand showcase while we’re at it?
And since it’s my birthday in exactly a month’s time, I suppose I get the right to list my own wishes, right? That was rhetorical, no need to answer. Besides, with the terrible pity party I threw last year, I really deserve to be happy (even if it’s all just in my head — or blog) this time.
I marked my 22nd birthday in the kitchen, stoned and boring myself into a coma after listening to my overly hint-averse neighbors talk for almost 7 hours. 7 hours. Of my birthday. Stuck next to a chatty woman who didn’t seem to understand the one simple rule of good neighborliness: THOU SHALT NOT BORE YOUR NEIGHBOR TO DEATH ON HER BIRTHDAY.
So I suppose I really deserve this chance to make a wish list and imagine stuff rather than wax nostalgic as most people with average emotional quotients would do when they hit 23. And so, with a little bit of coffee, lack of sleep and undue excitement, I present, my wish list for 2006:
1.) My own car on the MRT that no one else can ride except for me [insert canned evil laughter here].
2.) A date with Dr. Shirota. Yes, my idol since childhood. Watching all those Yakult commercials during Kuwarta o Kahon has certainly kindled an unnatural fondness for the brilliant Dr. Shirota, who discovered the Lacto-Bacilli Shirota Strain. I have no idea what that is; it just sounds impressive.
3.) Matsujun clothed in nothing but DVDs of his j-doramas and movies, and there’s not a lot of that [again, insert evil laughter from the Dick "I molest people for a living" Israel School of Contravidas].
4.) A tub of Haagen Daaz ice cream that I can’t spell but would willingly chow down, gaddemet.
5.) A Volkswagen Beetle — the old model. The vintage one, also known as the Kotseng Kuba, though I’d rather refer to it as the Kotseng Tartol. In hot pink, please.
6.) Kape. Bulto-bultong kape. Sako-sakong kape. Gabundok na kape.
7.) Andy Lau’s Protege. Andy Lau. Triad movie. Me drooling. Enough said.
8.) DSL. Downloads! Downloads! Downloads! Not to mention Downloads!!!
9.) A JLPT Level 4 Certificate. Well, I might really pass, I suppose, if I get my nose out of Norwegian Wood and start studying. NOW.
10.) My weight in high school. Less than 110 pounds! So I did look like a breathing ironing board then, but I’d pick that over my current shapeless, all-the-wrong-curves mass of flesh.
11.) Pirates of the Carribean 4, where Captain Jack finally feeds Orlando to the sharks and laughs with glee while doing so.
12.) Instant tiramisu. Just add water.
13.) Have Kuya Germs’ nephew John (or is it Joe) fired from Walang Tulugan and replaced in perpetuity by Mystika in a clown suit, stilletos and slut red nails.
14.) Make all appearances of Jobert Sucaldito on national television illegal. Or should be accompanied by a warning from the surgeon general: “Warning, Too Much of This Man’s Face, Hair, Voice and General Personality Can Be Dangerous to Your Health”.
15.) A “Kiss Me” video of my own.
EDIT: Isa pang hirit: super cute at hot na boots na maganda pero hindi sobrang taas para di ako magmukhang poste at di mamatay ng maaga yung binti ko. Yun lang po.
