john lennon, 1940 - 1980

The world’s a lot less colorful without you.

What do you get when you cross a Northerner with a Filipina?

Trouble, apparently, if the resulting furor over the Harry and Paul sketch is to be believed.

Again our people are up in arms over a slight.  It’s not the first time that we’ve gone crazy over some misrepresentation or unflattering portrayal.  Biscuits, dictionary definitions and throwaway punch lines from heavily Botoxed has-beens — any of these can send us into a national tizzy.

It’s not that we shouldn’t be indignant when faced with outright insults; we have all the right in the world to demand a motherfucking apology when some other country thinks they can just kick us down and laugh.  The thing, though, is that almost anything relatively not positive can get our collective panties in a tight bunch.  Anything.

I’ve seen the sketch.  It’s not funny (or maybe I don’t know enough about Brits to understand the joke), but I say in all honesty that I do not feel insulted.  That’s just my personal opinion.

A gyrating Pinay — tell me I haven’t seen that in some Pinoy comedy before.  An ugly Filipina girl doing her best to get violated by some hot guy?  Oh, is that not so Zorayda or Pokwang?

We’re only angry because it’s some other nationality on the other side of the sketch.

I’m all for women’s rights, and yes, any form of sexual abuse or harassment is not funny.  It’s just that we get this shit from our own television screens every single day and no one sounds a beep.

And we’re being a tad hypocritical, don’t you think?

We’re just as nasty when it comes to portraying foreigners.  I’m pretty sure a rather unflattering and tacky portrayal of the numerous Koreans crawling all over our 7000+ islands is in the offing.  I dare you to deny that our films and television shows have ever presented insulting and degrading portrayals of our nationalities.

If China or Japan sued us over every single insulting portrayal of their kind on Philippine celluloid, we’d drown in demand letters.

And we’re always so … dramatic.  I’ve always said that everything about this country is showbiz.  You want a negotiator?  Get Robin Padilla.  The Abu Sayyaf will talk to you if you get the one Muslim action star in the country to sit across them.  Everything is about melodrama — all that emotional hand-wringing and forehead-scrunching is pretty much second nature to the people of this country.

One congressman or woman decides that this particular issue is going to get his mug on the front pages and there you go.  I thought we had every right to kick NBC’s ass after that Desperate Housewives insult; our medical community in the United States had every right to be angry.  Unfortunately, it turned into a gruesome “they always bully us” refrain that made no sense and muddled the issue completely.

Dignified countries send their ambassadors to sort out the mess.  Bulging veins and tear-stained faces have no place in international negotiations.  We want those motherfuckers to say sorry?  We find a way to bring them to their knees.

I’m no expert, but I’m sure lame protests and burning stuff won’t cut it.

The Harry and Paul sketch is tasteless and not funny.  Let’s just say I’ve seen better and funnier from Fry and Laurie, as well as the eternally beloved Mr. Bean.  That said, I don’t see it as a racial issue.  It’s an unfortunate decision on the show’s part to choose a Filipina domestic helper.

They should’ve chosen someone from a less pikon country.

my crush. yes.

I’m pretty much always in a rush to get home these days.

I’ve always been obsessed with my bed, as everyone who knows me can attest. My bed — as plain and messy as it is — is my sanctuary.

But this isn’t about my bed.

I think I already mentioned a few posts back that I’m currently drawn towards a rather unlikely attachment. I’m not usually the type to watch a soap opera religiously. I hate the constant drama and crazy waterworks. If anything, I ‘d rather watch stupid and inane stuff like MadTV.

Now, though, I’m totally obsessing over a soap opera that no one would ever believe could hook me in. My sisters roll their eyes whenever the clock hits 8PM because they know it’s time for the waterworks again. Not that I cry, though. I can honestly say I haven’t shed a single tear over the show, although I do wring my hands in consternation when the protagonists find themselves in dire circumstances.

One of the most important reasons why I watch this thing, however, is Nicky Wu.

yeah, that guy. in yellow.

Yes, my cousin’s crush from two thousand years ago is finally getting to me. He’s not exactly gorgeous, but … oh well who am I kidding. You can all say what you want but I think the guy is hot and he’s gorgeous and hot and well, yeah. I ran out of adjectives again.

I didn’t like him back then (at the height of his superstardom as 1/3 of the Taiwanese boyband, Little Tigers. I know. Don’t rub it it.) because I was more of a Jimmy Lin fan. Forget I said that.

But now he’s just, well, addicting.

So yeah, my sisters will make fun of me yet again, but who cares.

Screw you, detractors (that includes one of my seven other personalities, who thinks people who brought the “boyband” concept to Asia should be shot).

Anyway, yeah.

Still high on Eraserheads-induced nostalgia, my latest BFF (according to me) Marian shared these tasty bits of the Eheads acting in an episode of Mikee Cojuangco’s drama anthology. I often caught most of Mikee’s episodes (no cable back then, ahem) so I’m wondering how I missed this particularly interesting episode.

Maybe I did watch it, but the cringe factor made me forget. It’s too funny to pass up though, so I’m sharing them here, too. Thanks to schizo102 for uploading these videos.

Ely’s a bit chubby here, Buddy is thin, Raimund is cool as usual and Marcus seems … high. Incredibly, you can see him smiling slightly when the aswang attacks. The close up shot of a screaming Buddy is precious. If someone can upload their guesting on Iskul Bukol I will be eternally grateful. But enough of this drivel. On to the show:

“They tried to tell us we’re too young,
Too young, to really be in love…”

I was in Grade 5 when I first heard “Toyang”, and I didn’t immediately like it. It sort of grew on me at that time, thanks to the playful lyrics and catchy tune. It took the song “Sembreak”, however, to turn me into a life-long fan.

For days on end I would sing “naalala kita pag umuulan (sembreak)” non-stop, erroneous lyrics and all. Then there was “Overdrive”, “Pare Ko” and everything else that followed.

I fell in love.

I don’t suppose I’ve ever really been this in love with any band/singer before, and I never will be again.

I was young, confused and in rather turbulent waters. It was the music of the Eraserheads that brought meaning to who I was. It sort of just dawned on me then, upon hearing their songs, that there was more to life than just the dreary monotony imposed by a parade of authority figures.

No wonder they kept calling the Eheads the spawn of the devil.

Backmasking and other irrelevant religious inquisitions skewered the quartet for their irreverence, but it merely added to the allure. In a Chinese and Christian high school, listening to the Eheads meant three things: (a) you’re a loser; (b) you’re anti-establishment; and (c) you will go to hell. I was all of those things, and I didn’t care.

Last night, in short, was magic.

I can go on and on about all the horrifying things that I subjected myself to last night, but it would be pointless. Everything else can go to hell. Last night, I was young again. It’s not that I’m ancient or anything. I’ll be 25 in a week, for crying out loud.

But listening to the Eraserheads sing all those songs again last night brought me back to a time when I was just realizing who I was. It was a time when all I wanted was to break free of everything. I was idealistic, raw, angry and just … young. Everything was uncertain, the world before me was fresh and ready for the taking.

Now I’m neck deep in bills, responsibility and reality. The world is no longer my oyster. Money is my sole motivator these days. I sold my soul to the corporate schmuck I ranted about when I was younger.

It’s over.

I harbored no delusions about last night’s concert. Even the Eraserheads had grown much older. They played enthusiastically and their prowess with their respective instruments had multiplied by leaps and bounds, light years away from the time they first broke into the local music scene.

I knew, of course, that this was a one time thing. There’s no way we can bring back what they had before. They can regroup, rebuild the Eraserheads, but it’s gone. The youthful, rebellious energy is gone.

Ely is right. We’re too old.

But for at least an hour or so, I was young and free again.

*Note: You have to sing the title.  Yes.  You have to.*

The extra long weekend had me stretched out in front of the television for hours on end.  This I did while playing the Sims 2 on my beloved MacLovin.  Yes, I multi-task.  I’m talented that way.

Anyway, I’m sure you’ve heard of the Joey de Leon-vs-Pokwang non-issue, wherein the Eat Bulaga host allegedly called the latter an “aswang“.  The taunt drove Pokwang to tears — conveniently on national television — and gave Willie Revillame yet another opportunity to grandstand.

Major disclaimer: I like Joey, if only because I grew up watching Starzan and She-Man.  The guy is a genius.  Sort of an asshat, but a genius nonetheless.

The same cannot be said for Willie Revillame, whose only claim to fame is his sleaziness.

Back to the non-issue at hand.  In defense of his co-host, Willie tearfully exhorted Joey not to pick on women; he would gladly take the hit he said.

In a separate interview, Willie defended Pokwang, saying that she was doing her best to make people happy every day.  Pokwang, he said, was a kind-hearted person and a successful comedian.

This, unfortunately, is a fallacy.  An empty argument, completely non-sequitur.

For the sake of this discussion, let us concede that Pokwang really is as good a person as Willie describes her to be.

In no way, however, does this argument negate or refute Joey’s allegation that Pokwang’s physical appearance is an aberration in God’s eyes.  Ergo, Joey’s statement stands.

I have nothing against Pokwang.

I think it’s just logic talking.

Or not.

I like gay people as much as the next person (which is a lot, just so we’re clear), so this isn’t a homophobic post.

My sister has been watching the new Wu Chun starrer “Hot Shots” and it’s been pretty entertaining so far, if only because Wu Chun has appeared a grand total of two times in the past two episodes.

I have nothing against Wu Chun, except that he’s a lot prettier than me. My sister likes him, by the way, which makes him my imaginary brother-in-law of sorts.

Anyway, in one of the Wu Chun scenes, Jerry Yan (of F4, yes) gives Wu Chun and Other Guy the evil eye for some reason. You feel the tension as the guys appear to be preparing for a serious face-off. Wu Chun and Other Guy then move menacingly towards Jerry Yan. Both put on their motorcycle helmets and scowl for good measure.

They then ride the same motorcycle, with Wu Chun riding shotgun, his arms wrapped tightly around Other Guy’s waist.

Oooooh. How menacing.

And gay.

***PS: I’m gonna get a serious beating from my sister for this. It will be worth it.