Pardon the use of unsavory words this early in the morning, but when exactly did Jollibee and his friends become stereotypical La Salle students?
Even as a child, I was never taken in by the orange mascot and his equally damaged friends. In fact, I was never a big fan of these establishments marketed specifically towards children. As 
an eight-year-old, I could easily see through their gimmicks — I won’t be bought by stupid toys in happy/kiddie meals, thank you very much.
Anyway, as much as I hate Ronald McDonald (because he’s a clown, and I watched “It” as a child, thereby rendering me a puddle of fear in the presence of clowns), I’d rather eat at McDonald’s than Jollibee, simply because the former has swift, efficient service, while Jollibee reeks of last night’s palabok. I swear. The McDonald’s outlet near our office is almost always immaculate and the service is super fast. The Jollibee? It smells of an unwashed Bumbay’s gym socks crossed with tons of onion. I’m not racist, I just need to describe the smell as honestly as I can.
Anyway, so what was I saying again?
Yes, Jollitown. There’s this television show that runs on GMA 7 on Sunday mornings, and it’s all about Jollibee, his weird rubbery friends and a bunch of kids who don’t have anything better to do. Now I always thought of Jollibee as the more “local” one when compared to other fastfood chains, because it’s Philippine-owned.
Weirdly enough, in Jollitown, everyone speaks English and what passes for convoluted, accented Tagalog. What exactly is going on in the heads of their scriptwriters and producers? Jollibee, in fact, speaks like some sort of demented DJ whose tongue needs a bit more pulling. Sort of like KC Montero, only a lot more coño than necessary. At least KC has an excuse.
There’s nothing specifically interesting about Jollitown; it’s the same old hackneyed plot and kids trying to make it into showbiz. Poor kids.
I probably won’t watch it again.
I know I’m into these weird television shows that make no sense (like INC and Dating Daan), but well, even I’ve got standards.
And why am I dissing Jollitown again?
Hmmm.
Because I can.
July 13th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
I caught an episode of Jollitown while channel surfing. Watched a few minutes and came up with the same thoughts as you. I had figured they’d be speaking in Tagalog and doing something ala Batibot, but no go. I prefer watching the shopping channels :p
July 13th, 2008 at 10:09 pm
Hahaha. I love shopping channels, too.
July 13th, 2008 at 11:03 pm
uyy di ko pa siya napapanood, ma search nga.. gusto ko ding manlait.. este ma-feel ang mga na-feel ninyo habang pinapanood ito.. pero tanong ko lang sa shopping channel, yan ba yung venta singko? o yung dati pa na home tv shopping sa rjtv? o yung mga imported shopping channel na binebenta yung pampalaki ng… yun na yun…. curious lang po…
July 13th, 2008 at 11:46 pm
di ko rin alam pero may mga shopping programs sa channel 5, 9, etc. depende sa oras at araw. ang pinapalabas yun jack lalaine power juicer, 9 minute marinator, etc. yung mga pampalaki tsaka cleopatra, laos na. wala na rin yun silhouette kuwarenta na sabon.
yung jollitown mga 9 o 930 sa gma pag linggo.
July 14th, 2008 at 5:35 am
chinese=drug dealers
July 14th, 2008 at 11:10 am
ooooh look, a troll!
July 14th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
ayy oo jack lalaines power juicer, naabutan ko yun, saka yung silhouette kuwarenta, yun yung naka dub ba ng tagalog tapos ikikiskis mo yung sabon sa katawan mo para mawala yung taba.. ehehehehe, naalala ko yung kapatid ko bumili pa nung ab flex.. yung ididikdik mo sa tiyan mo para magkaroon ka ng abs.. solid! ehehehehe
July 15th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
Haha, I don’t remember those. Gusto ko yung mga binebenta nila na kitchen appliances that claim to do all the work for you. Yeah, right.
July 15th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Kailangan ko yata mapanood itong Jollitown na ‘to, para lang mainis ako.
July 15th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
takot rin ako sa clowns.
kasi tingin ko sa clowns, mga murderers.
July 15th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
@kat - you know “walk-away cookware”? you just walk away. you throw all the ingredients in, put the pot over a stove for five minutes then take it off the stove and leave it to cook. now that’s cool. for years I wanted it. now i’m into the 9 minute marinator
@kris - hahahaha. exactly. 9 or 930 every sunday gma 7 hahahaha
@taps - oo. napanood mo ba yun it? dun ako natakot talaga sa clown
July 15th, 2008 at 11:32 pm
[...] Jollibee is so Freaking Coño | Stoned Immaculate [...]
July 15th, 2008 at 11:33 pm
[...] Jollibee is so Freaking Coño | Stoned Immaculate [...]
July 15th, 2008 at 11:35 pm
[...] Jollibee is so Freaking Coño | Stoned Immaculate [...]
July 16th, 2008 at 11:31 am
grabe, di ko yan alam yan pero di ko akalain na magkakaroon ng ganyan na palabas. ang psychotic.
Im also scared(no, angry) at clowns =) i thought i was the only one.
meron pa atang channel na exclusively pang shopping pero taiwanese na ata, andito ung pampalaki ng___, pampa-pink ng ___ at pampapayat. dati HSN ang nakikita ko at mga pampatangkad at pangluto ung nakikita ko.
July 16th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Hello Krysty! I was wondering kung bakit hindi na nag a appear ang journal mo sa LJ friends page ko yon pala you moved already. I read about your site in Kat S.’s blog. So yay, I found you! Thanks for linking to my site, although my main blog is the one I entered with my name. (-: The LJ is for ranting and other stuff. Anyway. I just wanted to say I’m glad I found your website, bihira kasi ako mag log in sa LJ kaya nahuli ako sa balita. (-:
July 16th, 2008 at 10:51 pm
Hallo Kat!!! sige I’ll edit
thanks for dropping by
July 16th, 2008 at 10:55 pm
@pavliuts - hehehe oo alam ko din yun kaso nababaduyan ako sa english nila, kaya iba ang pinapanood ko