I’m not very productive these days.

I’m always late for work, I can’t wake up to my alarm clock and I just want to stay home the entire day. Or week. Or month, maybe.

It’s not that I don’t want to work. Okay, so it’s not exactly like I love going to work, but at the very least it’s not something I dread, like going to the dentist or getting my driver’s license renewed. I want to work. I want to be there on time and be a useful employee. So much for good intentions, though. I often get to the office by as much as an hour or more late.

Yes, I’m a horrible employee.

I can’t even force myself to write my freelance projects. It’s like there’s no strength left in me.

Maybe it’s because I was sick for almost a month past, what with the bout with ulcer and whatnot. Up to this day I can’t finish a MacDonald’s chicken burger on my own, and that sucks big time.

Or maybe I’m just not being me. Or tired of being me.

What I’ve realized lately is that I need more time to play Nogs, my beautiful guitar. I just cleaned him with Pledge (partly because the dust is making my allergies act up) and he’s now shining like brand new. I just think I need more time to be a bum.

I miss waking up at ten and lounging around the house in clothes I had slept in the night before.

I know it sounds stupid, but there are days when I just want to run off somewhere with Nogs and do something unexpected. I’m the most unimaginative person ever; people know I hate disruptions to my schedule and pattern.

Classic Type A + obsessive-compulsive personality + god syndrome = ME.

There’s no explanation for this, but today I just want to take the first flight to Easter Island and hide. I don’t know why. Maybe part of me is sick of this. Sick of being a responsible person.

It’s only when I play the guitar that I get a feeling of relaxation and freedom. I suck horribly, but when my fingers touch the strings, I just feel like there’s nothing left to worry about but getting to the next chord in time without losing the strum pattern. Everything else just vanishes into thin air.

I’m not making sense, but I don’t really care.

All I want to do is hole up in some foreign country, forget me and everything else, then play my guitar.

Since I make no sense, I’ll just leave you with this clip of Pepe Smith going nuts. Pardon the poor quality; all I had was my phone

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 10th, 2008 at 10:46 pm and is filed under celebrities, nonsense, pinas, work. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.